So I've had a day to process finally receiving a formal BPD/EUPD diagnosis now and there have been a boatload of different emotions floating around in my mind that I thought I would share.Firstly, it's overwhelming. It's overwhelming to put a name to the things I have been developing, dealing with and asking for help… Continue reading BPD diagnosis
What makes you feel validated? Is it external sources? I know I'm still learning to give myself validation and not frantically search for it elsewhere, but also know it's a difficult process to unlearn. Taking little steps just by knowing and letting myself accept that the things I feel are real and okay, regardless of… Continue reading A few thoughts on self-validation
So, I got made redundant. I was expecting it to send me headfirst off the deep end, but I only really took a couple of days to drink and process and cry before putting a stop to that. The thing is, I understand that 2020 just is what it is - there's nothing personal about… Continue reading Rollercoaster of a week
"It's not even particularly that I think people hate me. I just cannot be alone. It drives me insane. Had such a nice evening but walk into the house alone and just break down and I don't understand. I need my meds back. This is absolute torture. Agony." I started writing that a couple of… Continue reading It’s the small wins
Something so small, and the entire world collapses in on me, like a star imploding in my chest and darkness spreading from there. The pain is physical. As if my heart is breaking in every one of my nerve endings over and over again. I can't breathe. I can just cry and think and obsess… Continue reading The whole world collapsing
Eliza Blooms 