Is a hermit era a Saturn return thing? A creative’s curse? Or is it just CPTSD? These are the questions that haunt me.
Not really, but it is something I’ve been thinking about lately in relation to my own coping mechanisms and how deeply and happily in my hermit era I am.
The questions themselves are utterly un-dialectic of me, and the answer probably lies somewhere in the middle of them all. So I wanted to have an explore.
First things first: what is a hermit era?
Some of you may need no reminder of what exactly a hermit era is, as you may well be in the same shoes as me. But most of the time, it feels like I am indeed the only person in the world in my hermit era, because 90% of the people in my life seem so damn social. That’s great, but I literally just can’t function like that in this season of my life.
If you are lucky enough to not know what a hermit era is personally, The Hermit is a well-known symbol or archetype, used in numerous different systems to identify the recurring theme of introspection, solitude and reflection. It’s most commonly known through systems like Tarot and Carl Jung’s archetype work.
Whatever the system, the symbolism remains similar:
- ‘The Hermit represents a time when we need to pull back and look within for guidance‘, The Tarot Lady
- ‘The Hermit is a seeker for the knowledge that comes from within‘, Labyrinthos
- ‘The Hermit card calls us into a deep, reflective space, inviting us to surrender to the unknown and root into stillness,’ Tarot For the Wild Soul
A hermit era, moreover, is a period of time in which we embody our best hermit-like selves. We stay home a lot. We mind our own business. We retreat. Ari Love writes on his own hermit phase that:
“We detach from things and people who no longer serve us, so we have lots of time for soul-searching. It is easier to examine ourselves without the noise of outside influences. During reflection, we must be open and honest with ourselves. It is not possible to attain self-mastery without introspection.”
Maybe you have a friend or family member that has seemingly dropped off the face of the earth, with minor signs of life appearing in the way of a sheepish apology message and a check in every few months. You could probably safely say they were also in their hermit era, and unless they explicitly say so, it’s probably nothing personal.
For me, it has been a multi-phase journey. My hermit era really first started when I stopped drinking and finally cut the last ties I had to that life. Outside of like literally two or three people from my younger years, I felt like I had to completely start from scratch with friends. And I was pretty reluctant to do that.
Initially, going anywhere social felt hard when I had just stopped drinking. I got used to first after first with my direct family (first dinner, first holiday, first Christmas and birthday), and then got used to spending some time with old friends again, but all with very high anxiety levels.
Then therapy.
After reconnecting with an old college crush towards the end of my therapy, my now husband, I felt completely at ease with him from the first meeting. I didn’t experience that with anybody else. He made me feel safe, seen, and loved, completely. I got married and stayed happily in that bubble. I became a stepmama to the most beautiful and bright little girl which has filled up my life so wonderfully in a way I never could have imagined. I got a whole new family to see and share big moments with too.
After therapy, entering a loving relationship, building my confidence in my career and in my creative life, maintaining all of that, and simply enjoying it, has been my ultimate priority. Outside of work, there’s too much to learn and create, and not enough hours in a day.
Is it trauma-based? Do I need to do DBT my way out of it?
I honestly don’t know. When I was in my DBT training, my therapist encouraged me at every step of the way to get out and get social and build relationships and attend aligned events. And that was fine, and I guess good for me.
But the more I have allowed myself to really become happy with who I am, the more time I spend studying and creating, working on my career, growing skills in new areas and building real dreams and a life I adore with the man of my dreams, the more infinitely protective I have become over my energy. Probably to a fault, but I also feel like who f*cking cares?!
There are still moments that feel like it’s definitely old anxieties and panics arising, like the weight in my chest and punch in my gut that I feel at an unexpected phone call or knock at the door. But the social side is feeling less overwhelming than back in Winter 2025 when I posted about this on the Bloom in DBT Instagram:
I can use skills for overwhelming moments like this one last year, and manage the emotions and urges when they come up by fact-checking the situation, so it does feel easier than it used to. When I do see people I love, I don’t feel as much social anxiety anymore. Not as intensely anyway. I sometimes struggle with post-socialising-guilt still, and even that I can name and journal through without it overwhelming me.
And don’t get me wrong, I love being outdoors, I love walking (though the habit comes on and off), I have a wonderful life with my husband and stepdaughter, I love my direct family that I see probably every few weeks-ish; and I love my extended family and the few close friends that simply understand that I am notoriously terrible to stay in touch with. At the same time, do not expect to see a reply from me for at least a few weeks, unfortunately likely more.
I’m still wrangling with a sense of guilt around that, wondering if I am just completely and utterly selfish, and have been for probably about two years, which is why I often think about this and wonder if it’s just me or if anyone else has to live with their notifications off (or at least I did, before I replaced my smart phone with a dumb phone and deleted all social media) because of the pure overwhelm of being so accessible to the world. I hated it.
I’ve also intellectualised it too much over the last few years, reading and learning about how back in my drinking days, I was chronically under-controlled in my behaviour and actions; desperately never wanted to be alone, always wanted to be out or drunk or at the pub, etc, etc.
Since quitting drinking (over five years now, by the way!) I have flipped completely into being more over-controlled in my behaviour, and I guess that goes hand in hand with staying home more. I’ve worked on finding more of a happy medium here like with all things since DBT. It’s interesting to read about and could be a good point to journal on, but I try not to make everything so clinical in my mind anymore.
It is what it is.
So, do I need to Opposite Action my way out of hermit mode and force myself to make plans and be more attentive to my inbox? Maybe. I kind of just feel like it’s just a phase in my life I will probably grow out of. I remember my brother-in-law mentioned at a family get together last year that he had a similar phase at one point, so maybe it’s more common than I think.
Is it a Saturn return thing?
Yes I’m back on my astrology sh*t. Hear me out. In astrology, The Hermit tarot card is actually generally associated with the sign of Virgo and its ruling planet, Mercury. So not directly with Saturn. But coming up to my own first Saturn return, or bang in the middle of it really, I have thought about this aspect more in my personal astrology studies.
One thing I can link here is that my Saturn return is happening in my 5H, Aries, (more on that placement here if you’re unfamiliar). While I’ve spent my whole life starting projects without ever finishing them, I’ve finally been taking my creativity seriously for the last few years, and building structures and rhythms in my life that allow me to prioritise that creativity and commit to my creative works.
So that’s been a big theme, and makes sense why if that is now my priority, the social side of life has become way less of one.
Saturn and boundaries
Another way Saturn and my Saturn return feel kind of relevant here is Saturn’s link to boundaries. Linking back to the under-controlled/over-controlled idea, my “under-controlled” self was also extremely under-boundaried. My current, more “over-controlled” self, is very much in her power when it comes to boundaries. Which is one of the reasons I don’t want to force things on myself when they don’t feel authentic for me.
One thing I’ve learnt, from my mum in particular actually, is that people really can respectfully accept new boundaries and love you just as much, you just have to go ahead and set them, and they just have to be willing to listen and hear them – and not take them personally.
Is hermit era energy a creative’s curse?
“Creativity is essentially a lonely art. An even lonelier struggle. To some a blessing. To others a curse. It is in reality the ability to reach inside yourself and drag forth from your very soul an idea.”
Maybe it’s a writer thing, but being alone feels like kind of like a necessity for my creative work. I need to get in the zone, study my personal syllabus, research, write, draw, collage. Where others might feel that solitude as loneliness; that’s where I’m happiest. That’s my calling.
I am a creative being and think I always will be. I wonder if most creatives feel the same.
Backrooms (2026) and why it naturally sent me into a mini existential crisis
So in all honesty, I have been sat on this piece about my hermit era for a little while now, and while I had half written it off to the never-out-of-the-drafts Gods, I recently watched Backrooms (2026) and it sent me straight back into my little anxious mental debate over my habits and coping mechanisms.
If you’re not a horror fan or you just haven’t seen the movie yet, I won’t spoil it for you. But, so you can see the basic themes of the film, and the relevance to my discussion here, this is the opening monologue:
We all have our loops, our habits… behaviors that keep us walking in circles… reaching for the same solutions over and over again. Thinking each time, they’ll take you somewhere new. But they don’t.
And still, it’s the neural pathway of least resistance. A path you made. It’s the one that kept you safe when you were a child. You learn to push people away, before they could hurt you. And now, as an adult, you’re still stuck right where you started. Alone.
There’s a lot to the themes this movie, and a lot of Jung-ian psychology undertones, but I’m not here for a movie review, so I’ll try to keep this direct.
We all have our loops; and I couldn’t stop wondering whether my hermit era is another one of these loops. Not because staying home, protecting my energy, writing, studying and making things is inherently unhealthy, but because the same behaviour can mean very different things depending on what is driving it.
My old life (my Tink life, if you will) was a loop: drinking, going out, avoiding myself, reaching for the same solutions and somehow expecting a different result. My current loop is quieter and, in many ways, infinitely healthier. It has given me sobriety, stability, creativity, a marriage I adore and the space to build a life that actually feels like mine. But the film still made me question whether some of my solitude is chosen sanctuary, and whether some of it is an old survival response worming its way back in. Like Clark, I feel like I belong here.
Is my phone switched off because I am peacefully immersed in my own life, or because being reachable still feels unsafe? Am I protecting my energy, or avoiding the possibility that connection might be unsafe?
This is probably where DBT would encourage me to check the facts, notice the urge to withdraw and occasionally take the opposite action when it is important and effective to do so. Not because I “should” just socialise my way out of my hermit era, but because I don’t want a coping mechanism that once saved me to quietly become my own Backrooms.
Food for thought, I guess?
ANYWAY, my upcoming creative projects…
Off the back of one young visionary and his dream being brought to life, this is probably a good time to update y’all on some of the things I have in the pipeline for the next year or so. I may not be as young, nor as successful as Kane Parsons, but my hermit season has certainly not been without fruit!
On the DBT side of things, I’m finally done with part three of my four DBT module ebooks, the Emotional Regulation module, and it’s a big one!
Then I’ll aim to get Distress Tolerance done later this year. After I’ve finally completed that, I have some really big and (currently top secret) exciting projects to get sunk into, currently on the back burner until 2027. 👀
I’ve also done some late spring cleaning to Eliza Blooms with a little brand refresh, it feels much more me. Let me know if you like it!
I’m still reading and studying constantly, currently working through a personal astrology syllabus, recording a bunch of original music, and have two different books coming together in the background of it all – very long projects. Totally in my element.
Let me know if you’ve had your own hermit phase, or if you know someone that has, and your experience of that. I’d love to hear that I’m not alone in my happy solitude.
Lizzie 🤍
Eliza Blooms - Public DBT & Mental Health Recovery Journal 