Advice For Starting Therapy: 10 Tips

Beginning the journey of therapy can feel both daunting and empowering. Whether you’re now finally able to start getting the support you need, or just contemplating taking that first step of seeking support, it can be a complex and emotional time. 

Drawing from my experience in DBT and my journey of mental health recovery, I’ve curated a list of tips to provide some advice that I would have loved to receive in the early stages of my own therapy journey. These insights aim to enhance your understanding and readiness, ensuring a smoother transition into the therapeutic process.

10 Tips For When You’re Starting Therapy

Clarify Your Why

Before heading to your first therapy appointment, take a moment to reaffirm your purpose. Reflect on why you sought support in the first place and what specific benefits you hope to gain. Knowing your “why” serves as a compass, guiding you through the ups and downs of the therapeutic journey. 

That first session can be a big trigger to avoid. Know your why. You’ve got this.

Reflect on the specific challenges or coping mechanisms that led you to seek therapy. Whether it’s unhealthy patterns of behaviour or relationships, intrusive thoughts, or other factors surrounding your personal experiences and circumstances, identifying these issues is the first step towards addressing them effectively. 

Keep Your Motivation Handy

My next tip is not just to know why you’ve sought out therapy, but to also make a list of these pressing concerns and discuss them openly with your therapist during your sessions. 

Try to document your reasons for seeking therapy somewhere you can keep readily accessible. Whether it’s a digital note on your phone, a journal entry in your notebook, or a simple sticky note, having your motivation visible reinforces your commitment during moments of doubt or discouragement. 

I had a list of three very specific problem coping mechanisms that I was dealing with at the time I started DBT, and the consequences they were having on my life. Every so often, we would revisit that list to make sure I wasn’t avoiding the hard stuff.

Tell a Trusted Support Network

Having someone in your corner to support you through your therapy journey can make a world of difference. Choose a trusted friend, family member, or mentor whom you can confide in and lean on for encouragement and guidance. Sharing your experiences with a supportive network can help alleviate feelings of isolation and provide valuable perspective.

Schedule a Non-Negotiable Debrief & Self-Soothe

Try as best you can to block out even a short amount of time after your therapy session to have to yourself. You can journal your thoughts, or simply sit with them. You might need to do some self-soothing, like grabbing a cup of your favourite coffee or wrapping up in your softest clothes and a blanket. 

You might want to reschedule any meetings, appointments or engagements after your therapy sessions when you’re first starting. Remember your rights to reasonable adjustments at work.

While extremely rewarding, therapy can be tiring. Give yourself the time and space to soothe and regulate before trying to rush back into the hustle and bustle of everyday life. 

Observe Your Judgments

Mindfulness skills extend beyond formal practice; they’re about cultivating awareness in everyday moments. When encountering resistance towards therapy, pause and observe the sensations and emotions it evokes within you. Acknowledge any judgmental thoughts, distinguishing facts from assumptions.

In DBT, the “Observe” skill is one of the three mindfulness “WHAT” skills:

• Observe
• Describe
• Participate

These skills teach us how to cultivate an observational perspective, supporting you to develop greater insight and resilience in the face of challenging emotions.

Turn Resistance into Self-Reflection

Once you’ve mastered becoming aware of your judgements and assumptions about therapy, resistance can serve as a real gateway to deeper self-understanding. Try to explore the underlying causes of your resistance by identifying the physical sensations and accompanying thoughts. Challenge any distorted beliefs by examining evidence and weighing the pros and cons objectively.

Deploy Distress Tolerance Techniques

At times, confronting the present moment may feel overwhelming, especially if you lack the necessary emotional regulation skills. In such instances, validate your experience without judgement and employ distress tolerance strategies like STOP (Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed Mindfully), self-soothing techniques, or engaging in pleasant (and not harmful) short-term distractions. 

Remember, it’s okay to press pause on mindfulness practice and revisit it when you feel more prepared. Sometimes, it’s the safest and most effective option. That isn’t a failure. Just remember to come back to these skills again once your emotions are feeling more regulated.

Allocate Time for Practice

Integrating therapy into your daily routine doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Dedicate a small portion of your day to practise the skills you’ve learned in therapy. Start with brief sessions of journaling or mindfulness exercises, gradually increasing as you grow more comfortable.

Implement New Approaches in Low-Intensity Situations First

Just as learning to swim starts in the shallow end, practising new coping skills should begin in moments of low emotional intensity. Start by incorporating therapeutic techniques and mindfulness exercises into mundane activities like making a cup of coffee. This rehearsal primes your mind for future application during high-stress situations, both inside and outside therapy sessions.

Patience is Key

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is any new skill. That includes aspects of mental wellness like emotional regulation. Trust me. It took a lot of trial and error, and I still have to practise to stay at the top of my game. But it works. Things change. Your brain literally starts to rewire itself to make repeated actions feel easier.

Give yourself permission to progress at your own pace, free from unrealistic expectations. Embrace the learning curve, understanding that mastery of therapeutic skills requires time, dedication, and a willingness to persist through setbacks.

Final Thoughts

Embarking on the path to therapy is a courageous step towards self-discovery and healing. By incorporating these tips into your journey, you’ll hopefully be able to navigate the initial challenges with much greater resilience and insight. 

Remember, therapy is not a sprint but a marathon—a journey of self-growth and empowerment that’s all about pushing on at your own pace, not coming in first place. Embrace each step with patience, curiosity, and an open heart, knowing that you (and your therapist!) really hold the key to your own transformation. 

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